Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

Hi you guys!  Well, I tried to resize this picture but I couldn't do it.  So, I want you to meet Biff Butler's and my daughter, Beth!  Although we are married to other people now it doesn't change the fact that we are very proud of our daughter that I had in our junior year of high school.  Very few people knew that I was sent away to a home for unwed mothers in Denver.  I think some people thought something was up. Becky Hardy even wrote me a letter asking me how I was!  I was so scared and wondered:  if she knows, who else does!?! Anyway, who cares now?   48 years ago I gave this little baby girl away.  I was only allowed to hold her for 1 hour!  That was it.  I saw her every day in the nursery for 10 days.  Then that was it.  I want you all to know that while you were all wondering what you were going to wear to the Prom, Biff was working as a busboy to pay for everything.  His mother insisted!  He saw her too when he and my mother came to take me home.  Fast forward.......my daughter, Grace, knew how much I wanted to find her.  So she did 23 and Me.  She found Beth!  Beth had done 23 and Me in December of 2017.  No response.  She was getting very discouraged.  Then Grace did it last summer. The result came back,  there was a 20% chance that this person that lives in Denver and was born in 1970 could be Grace's aunt.  Well, through email Grace and Beth communicated.  They're half sisters!  Beth had wondered her whole life who her natural parents were.  She had no idea that not only were they alive but that now she's the oldest of 7 siblings!   It's very unusual that I married the father and we went on to have 2 more children.  She has 2 full brothers and 1 half brother and sister from my 2nd marriage and 2 half brothers from Biff's second marriage.  Let me tell you!  We are all thrilled!  Beth has had a wonderful life.  She became a Denver Broncos cheerleader.  Her adoptive parents gave her everything she needed to grow up to be the lovely person that she is today.  Something that we never could have done in 1970.  We all laugh now because Biff and I had saved $45.  We couldn't understand why our mothers were mad and wouldn't let us get married.  Beth married a wonderful guy and we have 3 new grandchildren.  They have been here to visit.  The first time I saw Beth it was a complete surprise.  Everyone knew but me that she was coming.  You better believe that there were a lot of tears, So at long last the mystery of 48 years has been solved!  Hurray!

Biff Butler

Brent Hall

Julie,

I was very touched after reading your story. Family is what it's all about. Jan and I just returned from visiting my daughter and her family in Houston. It's hard only seeing them a couple of times a year. I can't imagine your joy after wondering all those years. Very cool that you and Biff have continued your friendship. Here's a pic of our family vacation to Hawaii taken 2 years ago with our 4 kids and 6 grandkids.

Andrew Scholte

Julie,  First of all, I am so happy for you to finally find and meet your daughter.  What a special moment that must have been.  It is great that we live in a time when there are tools to make that possible.  I applaud you and Biff for making what was the best decision at that time.  Your daughter was happy and well cared for her as she grew up.  Thanks to a Mother's and Daughter's love, you were driven to find each other. And, your children were able to experience their newly found sibling. Thank you for sharing your heart warming story with us.  I am also glad that you and Biff remained friends after you split up.  That is so important to all of your children. 

Doris Winkler (Scholte)

Oops!  Julie, I was logged in as my husband Andy.  The message was really from me!

Doris Scholte

Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

Thanks Doris and Brent!  Family is the most important thing of all!  Even though we found Beth fairly late in our lives you better believe that we are all catching up! 
 

Susan Metz (Metz)

Julie, what a wonderful story.  Two years ago, a few of my friends here in Seattle did their DNA.  One found her birth mother three months after she had passed so she was never able to meet her.  Jean was fine with that because she loved her adoptive parents so very much.  However, she did go from being an only child to having a huge family which she has been able to meet back east.

My other friend, found out she had another sister in Chicago where she grew up.  Nancy says jokingly, "My mother was a "ho".  The other sister was not so thrilled to find out so I guess it can turn out either good or not so good.  

I am thrilled for you.  I enjoyed visiting with you at the reunion.  I hope we will get to be able to see each other in 2021.  Who's planning that one?

My best to you and for what it is worth, I didn't even know you and Bif were dating.

Hugs, 

Susan Metz

Tom Smokoff

Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

Hi Susan!  Would you believe that I just saw your message!  I didn’t get a notice through my email about it   That’s really too bad about your friends but this the norm I think.  We were just really fortunate.  Since your last message my daughter, Grace, and I have been to Denver to visit Beth and her family.  Biff and his wife, Kari went there to babysit so Beth and her husband could go on a trip.  Beth was here again  Then her husband brought two of their kids here to meet 2 of their first cousins for the first time.  It’s unbelievable!         I’m just going to make a big space here because I can’t get a new paragraph in.  Anyway, the reunion will be here before we know it and it will be fun to see you.   Julie

Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

Hi Tom!  Yes it’s great to stay in touch!  It’s so exciting to watch your step by step progress with developing a great water purification system. It will help so many people!  Now you’re connected to NASA with that very system. That’s a huge achievement. I know I’m excited about getting my filtered water bottle that’s made up partially from plant products. I’m sure by the reunion you’ll have a lot more to tell us about it.  2021 will be here before we know it!     Julie

Doris Winkler (Scholte)

Yes !!!!!!!  I would look forward to a 50 Year Class Reunion in 2021!  I hope that is the consensus.  i would be willing to help in any way I can

Doris Scholte

Terri Jacob (Trick)

I would love a 50th reunion! Let's do it!

Terri

Doris Winkler (Scholte)

Carolyn,  I would be happy to assist with a Reunion.   I think it would be nice to  have something on the less formal side.  I really liked the location and atmosphere of the last Reunion at the University.  I also liked the option of staying in a room on site, which we did.  A movie presentation of some sort would be nice.  

I will be in touch.  I hope that we can work it out.

Doris Winkler (Scholte)

Dale Richards

Dear East High Classmates:  8/29/21

Thank you all for such a wonderful weekend with classmates. It had been 40 years for me to visit with my many friends. It was awesome.

I wish everyone a wonderful Fall Season and hope we get some good snow this year.

It was so fantastic to see everyone.

Sincerely

Dale

Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

I have to add my kudos to all that planned our reunion!  The name tags with our young faces on them was the best idea!  It was a delightful setting and great company, of course!  Thanks goes to the person that's a member of the club. I know it wouldn't have happened otherwise. So fun to reconnect with everyone  I love the way there aren't any divisions now. We're all the class of '71.  No more popular and unpopular kids.  We can all be equal friends.  

Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

It's me again. Next time let's truly plan an ecumenical event. I would like to see some speakers from other religions and non religions. I grew up Episcopalian but converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my 30's. So I'm extremely sensitive to nonmembers' feelings. This was not right to hold the meeting in a stake center. I heard expressions of anger that it was insulting. I'm sure there were good intentions but remember there were many of us that felt ostracized growing up and it was terrible. Better yet let's have something, if at all, that's not religious and be considerate of the students in our class. I love that we're all older and wiser now. There isn't a popular group any more. We meet just as friends that have life experiences to share. That's why I love the reunions. I feel close to every one of you!
 

Brent Hall

Julie,

I found Sunday night's meeting very enjoyable and am sorry if there were people annoyed. The only reason it was held at a stake house was the Zoom broadcast and was the only way I could attend a part of the reunion.

I especially enjoyed the 1971 Acappella singing The Lord Bless and Keep You. I hadn't heard it since I was in Acappella 50 years ago. It was the final number we sang in every performance. During 1971 the choir sang at many LDS meetings and Ruth Funk did not make attendance mandatory. There were many non-members that would attend and were not offended. East High: Bonzai!

Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

Brent, I love that song too. When I used to go to All Saints Episcopal Church they used to sing that at the end of every service. That being said we have to remember that this was a religious service. I think that's where many just don't get it.  East High is a school and not a religious place of worship. Also it's not just that. Members of our church in Utah need to acknowledge that there were many that felt left behind. I guess you'd have to really talk to someone, especially during that time period, and learn how they felt. Unfortunately this is still going on.
 

 I really can feel for you because having had cancer several times in the last five years-plus all the after effects-I was in the hospital eight times and spent weeks at home on my back.  So the value of feeling included can not be understated. At one point I was in the hospital for a month and thought the world was going on without me. So, I greatly sympathize with you. If there's anything I can do to help you let me know. I'm a good listener. 
 

Bob Richards

Julie, Thanks so much for coming to the event.  As I noted in my invitation and per Cory's introduction, my intent was not to offend.  I'm so sorry that I was not able to find you or even know you well enough to ask for your help in advance in planning and assuring it would be maximally inoffensive.  I'm a wooden person trying to carry a silver chalice.  In high school, I had several close non-LDS friends and wanted to link arms with everyone I could get to know.  I'm afraid I lacked the time, courage, maturity, and confidence required to be the ideal bridge builder and includer.  As Kathy Kipp Clayton so well put it, I sadly admit that my focus was mostly on myself.

You came!  Thank you so much! I appreciatively want to learn from your experience.  Hopefully, I'm getting better, with age, at inviting criticism and feedback--what Stephen R Covey referred to as the breakfast, lunch, and dinner of champions. I so admire you for being willing to share your reactions. Help us learn from this experience.  I think I can begin to appreciate your sensitivity with regards to the venue, etc. which were graciously offered, at my request; the prayers voicing heartfelt gratitude and appellations to heaven, spoken in an adoring, authentic, language.  A committee certainly could have helped find a more neutral venue and more diversity in participants' backgrounds (I was so grateful to all who did participate in Sunday's event and felt so uplifted, personally!)  

The Claytons, though now emeritus, did serve in high positions in the LDS faith.  I know they were very anxious to not offend and to speak only to broadly shared values, needs and concerns.   For example, I was so impressed by Whit's describing what Christians refer to as "the golden rule" as taught and practiced by all major world religions, enunciating each. I could take a dose of Kathy's positivity and seeking to be more considerate of others every day as a form of vitamin L (love).  Again, I'm sure my lenses are simply too invisible to me to see but were the Clayton's guilty of any intentional stepping on toes?  Humbly speaking, I couldn't detect any missteps with their messages or tone.  Personally, I was ecstatic.

I struggled with the set theory implied by non-denominational (I think 50 years ago the term would have implied a basic belief in God as our creator).  I'm always slow to catch up but I know, at least, that simple categories are disappearing.  Ecumenical now seems to mean spiritual, regardless of religious affiliation or doctrinal beliefs.  I want to promote spirituality, feel a tremendous need for more of it in my own life. I happen to be happily tied to a specific religious affiliation, so be it.  I've always known many individuals whom I feel are much more spiritual than I who share none of my specific religious doctrinal beliefs but share most, if not all, of my core values related to being as brothers and sisters--individuals who are wonderfully thoughtful and considerate of others, who are giving, outward focused, caring, and willing to help to the extent aspire to be. 

If such a thing as joint ecumenical (perhaps I'll have to give up on using the word worship?) is of mutual interest to you and a portion of those surviving in 5 years, please, Julie, (and others wanting to help) commit to joining me and Shaun (who has already signed up) in recruiting an appropriately representative planning committee that will pull off the goal of ecumenical in a less offensive way than this first "pilot" attempt.  As with many aspects of life, sadly, I doubt it would be possible to achieve ecstasy for everyone.

I felt and still feel very inadequate in trying to organize this ecumenical devotional by myself, but I really wanted it to happen.  I never pretended to be doing it perfectly.  Please, let's not throw out the potential benefits of holding an even better event (baby) because of my inadequacies and lack of knowing who and how to involve others (bathwater).  Thanks again for sharing your reactions and concerns.

Bob

Teresa O'Bryan (Owen)

Julie Tornquist, thanks so very much for stepping up and acknowledging the lack of knowledge for those who have never participated in truly non-denominational spiritual service.

Being a non-Morman in SLC during my youth was a painful experience. Fortunately some of us were able to experience Morman's outside of SLC and realize that they are capable of being accepting of other people and their beliefs. Perhaps because they are not the majority. Whatever the reason...God will be the judge.

Teresa O"Bryan Owen

Kim Robertson

I am not Mo - I'm not Judeo Christian - I'm not Muslim - I'm not Hindu - I'm not really anything ... High school and growing up in U-Daw and the Salty City was painful for many reasons. Let's hope that the answer to such alienation in our world lies in tolerance and as a species we may reach that state at some future time before genus Homo dies out - 1 million years is a good long time for a species so there is still hope. Based on current events I doubt I will see it in our nation or in the world in my lifetime. The “strong man” appears to be winning over the contemplative and compassionate man ("Man" used generically for human and not in a sexist way).

My favorite non-denominational celebrations speech is

"We are gathered together in this beautiful place on a fragile blue marble floating in space, surrounded by friends and loved ones, to give thanks that we are still here and for all the blessings we have enjoyed over our long lives. We hope that we have the strength to accept diversity, generate good will, and reach out to those who need aid as we move through what remaining time is allotted to each of us. We also hope that our passing will be made with grace and that as we pass on, we lift the veil between this existence and whatever is to come, with a sense of wonderment and not with a sense of dread or anger. Love and peace to you all"

I hope you all have a wonderful life and that you find whatever it is that brings you joy without adversely affecting others … we are all on this planet together,

Kim Robertson

Teresa O'Bryan (Owen)

Thanks Tom and Kim for the responses. Knowing that others experienced the same exclusion somehow makes it a even sadder to me.

Yes being a non-Catholic in Mexico, Italy, Boston is perhaps the same. When I spent weeks in Boston and Austin for work not one person asked me "what parish are you in?". I can almost NEVER remember meeting someone in SLC without being asked "what ward are you in?"  The first time I was asked that ??? (first day of Roosevelt, middle of 8th grade) I replied "what is a ward?" I walked to and from school by myself surrounded by kids...until Shanoa. She asked me to Tuesday and Sat night youth programs at the ward. Then I think everyone just thought I was a Mormon.

Embracing my spiritual beliefs without being tied down to a religion helps me lead an uncluttered life.

Thanks to my former classmates who did reach out to me at our reunion. I enjoyed their company and look forward to visiting with them in the future.

My best thoughts to all.

Richard Rhoades

I too was and am not of the dominate faith in SLC. You of the faith made high school no fun. Not being included once outed can be brutal. However bad it was then, I thank you for making me a stronger person! 

Julie Tornquist (Jacobsen)

Bob, I applaud your efforts but we have to do better and also ask if this is what everyone wants tagged onto a reunion. So, all of you worthy East High lads and lassies my question is this:  In five years how many would want to go to an extra well planned event surrounding a topic that''s timely?  I'm happy to join with Shaun and others to investigate speakers and venues. But it's not worth it if the majority feel it's just too much. Think about it. In five years we'll all be well into our 70's. I hope to be around but cancer has struck me twice.

 I think we've now witnessed feelings that go way back in time. Further than high should but even grade school. What a shame there were many of us on the fringe that were told we weren't allowed to play with the Mormon kids or even worse things unmentionable here.  
 

I suggest we ask ourselves how we can be kinder and more accepting of other cultures and teach our children the same.  I know the kids that were mean to me had to have heard it from the adults.  Let's not be that way. It's interesting now too tell my Mormon friends about what happened to me.  They have no idea that these things went on because they were oblivious.